Dictionary of Kink Terminology
General Terms
- Aftercare
- The timespan after a scene which participants in the scene use to recover from the activity. It is also not uncommon for the scene participants to contact one another in the following days/week as part of checking in on each other. Scenes can be very intense for some folks, and may take time to fully process.
- Boot Black
- Someone that offers leather care services to the community. While this is often a free service it is very common to offer monerary tipsas at a fair rate of exchange.
- Consent
- Agreement between parties regarding a negotiated set of boundaries. Crossing of any of the negotiatied boundaries (“breaking consent) is always taken extremely seriously by the community at large, and often results in the outright banninng or blacklisting of those that do.
- Dungeon
- A physical space where individuals are able to partake in kinky activities
NOTE: The term “Dungeon” is synonymous with the term “Playspace”, and both are used in reference to the same thing. There may also be instances where either term are used for the entire location, and the other is used for the specific areas within that location where play is allowed.
- (Modern) Kink
- A broad range of activities in which one or more participants engage in activities that are typically considered “non-normative” or simply unconventional. While a kink may be a turn on, not all kinks or kinky activities are sexual in nature.
- Munch
- A gathering at a public space, often a bar/restaurant, that allows individuals to participate in casual conversation, and meet others.
- Negotiation
- Mutual discussion about the terms of a particular scene in which the participants establish rules, boundaries, and share expectations.
- Play
- The act of partaking in a kinky activity, regardless of role
- Play Collar
- Collars are a very common sight in the kink community, and all of them will have different meanings to the inviduals wearing them. Play Collar’s are collars that are worn temporarily, such as for the duration of a play party or scene. Individuals in Dominant/submissive relationships may also have different collars for different occasions such as a decorative day collar for wearing in public, but a play collar for more vigorous activities.
- Play Party
- An event at which folks are able to participate in kinky activities.
- Playspace - see also Dungeon
- Synonymous with the term Dungeon as described above
- Role(s)
- A loosely-defined part taken on by individuals in particular social-settings.
- Scene
- The period of time during which one or more participants engage in a kinky activity.
- Service (Role) or Service-Type
- Any individual that takes on a role (top/bottom, dom/sub, etc.) for the benefit of another.
Note: Motivations for being a Service-Type varies between individuals, although general consensus is that they find enjoyment in being able to provide the service, and not directly from the act itself.
- Vet | Vetting | Vetted
- These are all terms for evaluating someone for approval or acceptance. Given the nature of the community, and the activities, it is not uncommon for invididuals to be “vetted” before being allowed into a private space or group. The specific requirements for acceptance is at the discretion of those doing the vetting, but the most prevalent is requiring a list of references within the community.
Kink Relationship Dynamics
- Collaring
- Collars are commonly regarded as a physical symbol of obedience worn by submissive individuals. While there are some inviduals that will only use collars during a scene (referred to as “Play collars”) the act of collaring someone is to show dedication to the relationship, and in some respects “taking ownerhip” of the one being collared.
- Play Partner
- Strictly speaking Play Partners are defined as platonic relationships between two or more individuals that enjoy kinky activities together. The nature of such relationships is regularly platonic, although they could also be romantic, and/or sexual as well.
- Power Exchange
- Negotiated power imbalance, sometimes referred to as Authority Transfer.
- Top
- An individual that gives sensation during kinky play.
- Bottom
- An individual that receives sensation during kinky play.
- Dom | Domme | Dominant
- An individual that receives control and/or authority over another individual. It is not uncommon to see the “D” in Dominant captizalized, regardless of position within a sentence, such as in the Dominant/submissive or D/s context. Capitalization of the first letter (or not), is entirely left to the dicretion of the one using the term.
NOTE The “Domme” form is often used as a feminine-specific variant
- Sub | Submissive
- An individual that gives control and/or authority over to another individual. It is not uncommon to see the “S” in submissive left lowercase, regardless of position within a sentence, such as in the Dominant/submissive or D/s context. Capitalization of the first letter (or not), is entirely left to the dicretion of the one using the term.
Safety Acronyms
- SCC
- Safe, Sane, Consensual
Note: Currently considered to be deprecated, even by its originator (David Stein), because the phrase has become overly diluted. Some folks would even pose the joke: “Safe, Sane, Consensual; pick two.” as a way of hinting that kink-play always carries some form of risk, and cannot (generally), embody all three statements simultaneously. It is also important to note that consent is considered to be a hard requirement at all times.
- RACK
- Risk Aware Consensual Kink (Coined by Gary Switch, 1999)
Note: Currently considered to be the most appropriate acronym for kink safety as it reminds participants that they need to be aware of the risks for the activities they choose to participate in.
- PRICK
- Personal Responsibility Informed Kink
Note: This acronym puts more emphasis on the concept that kink participants are ultimately responsible for their own safety.